As November has started, I have tried to list on facebook once a day, something I am thankful for.
See list....very proud of my list......
Day 1: Thankful for my salvation, without God I am nothing.
I have been fine listing my thankfuls but then comes Day 10 and I just feel stuck. I am very defeated about this pregnancy and my health related issues. It's not that I want my baby to be born early and in the NICU, God know that I don't, I just want answers. Is that too much to ask for? I know that I have many blessings. I have made it this far, Jaxon seems to be ok, his fluid is low, his weight gain has slowed too which has not been discussed with me on the next steps since the amniocentesis didn't return desired results. I will be 36 weeks this Sunday, November 13, 2011. I guess I will be thankful when this is all over, when my blood pressure and headaches are more controlled, when I know more about what the aneurysm will mean to the rest of my life, and hopefully when I can exercise and feel more in control of my body and when I can just plain feel like a human again. That's it, I am just thankful that normal is hopefully around the corner and my baby will hopefully be in my arms soon, Lord willing and the creek don't rise. Optimism is harder to grasp on this side of the fence.
Jenn
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